The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Introduction

Marriage is a beautiful union of two individuals who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. However, maintaining a healthy and joyous marriage requires a lot of patience, love, and dedication from both partners. In this blog post, we will discuss The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, which have been extensively researched and compiled by Dr. John Gottman. These principles are proven to be highly effective in strengthening relationships and promoting happiness among couples.

Build Love Maps:

The first principle is all about getting to know your partner better, both emotionally and physically. This involves understanding their likes, dislikes, family background, aspirations, and fears. This principle recommends taking an active interest in your partner’s life and constantly updating your knowledge about them to remain connected. Couples who build love maps have better communication, understanding, and appreciation for each other.The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work - Book by J. Gottman -  janesteinbergmft.com

Nurture Fondness and Admiration:

Fondness and admiration refer to appreciating and valuing one’s partner for their qualities and virtues. The second principle of making marriage work emphasizes the importance of regularly expressing fondness, respect, and appreciation towards each other to strengthen the bond of love. This involves focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and letting go of negative thoughts and emotions.

Turn Towards Each Other:

The third principle focuses on the role of emotional bids in relationships. Emotional bids are essentially requests for attention, affection, or support from one’s partner. Couples who turn towards each other and respond positively to these emotional bids tend to have a more satisfying and stable relationship. This principle highlights the importance of being present, attentive, and responsive when your partner makes an emotional bid.

Let Your Partner Influence You:

The fourth principle recognizes the importance of mutual decision-making and respect in a relationship. It involves allowing your partner to influence you in areas of shared decision-making, such as finances, parenting, or chores. When both partners feel heard and respected, they are more likely to work towards common goals and have a harmonious relationship.
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Solve Conflicts:

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. However, how couples deal with conflicts can greatly impact the wellbeing of their relationship. The fifth principle recommends adopting a constructive approach to conflicts without resorting to criticism, defensiveness, contempt, or stonewalling. When couples are able to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts amicably, they tend to have a stronger and healthier relationship.

Create Shared Meaning:

The sixth principle is all about building a strong sense of shared meaning and purpose in a relationship. This involves creating shared rituals, traditions, and goals that give the relationship a sense of purpose and direction. When couples have a shared sense of meaning, they are more likely to feel connected, fulfilled, and committed to each other.

Trust:

Trust is the foundation of any healthy and successful relationship. The seventh principle of making marriage work highlights the importance of building trust between partners through honesty, transparency, and reliability. Couples who trust each other tend to have a stronger bond of love and feel secure in their relationship.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work are invaluable guidelines for couples who wish to build a strong, healthy, and joyful relationship. While it takes effort and commitment to adopt these principles, the rewards of a successful and fulfilling marriage are indescribable. So, go ahead and implement these principles in your relationship and watch your love bloom into a lifelong commitment of happiness and bliss.

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